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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the journalist who stumbled upon a campsite murder? She reported it was bloody in-tents!"

"What did the double-amputee say when he stood up? ""I stand corrected."" -From /r/showerthoughts"

"I used to work at an orange juice factory but I got canned because I couldn't concentrate."

"What did the boy pee say to the girl pee? Urine angel."

"What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? Bison"

"What are Cephalopod Ghosts made of? Octoplasm."

"Life is a lot like a piece of toilet paper. You're either on a roll, or you're taking shit from some asshole."

"It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable. Now, of course, there's shipping and handling, too. "

"Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven is a registered six offender."

"Direct quote from my daughter: ""I know horses can play soccer really well because they're fast."" Thank god she's pretty."