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Joke of the Day

"My buddy's autistic twin brother has a seizure while on a camping trip, causing my buddy to miss his first day on the job at Dominoes. ""Tell the manager your brother had a Little Caesar"""

"What did the doctor say to the infertile Princess Bride? Inconceivable!"

"I'm sorry, you can't check your disobedient child on this flight. Guess you'll have to carry on your wayward son"

"I bought a toaster with variable browning control but all it will say is ""Take away love and our earth is a tomb""."

"When it comes to discipline, I think I lack concentration camp."

"What do you call a spy who is into BDSM? James Bondage."

"I've been diagnosed with a type of amnesia that makes me deny the existence of certain 80s bands... Apparently there's no Cure."

"Is an inactivist a thing? Because I think I am that."

"Walter White decided to buy a pizza for his son Walter: Hey son I bought you a pizza so you can share it with your friends. Flynn: Thanks dad, how much do I owe you? Walter: It's on the house."

"Why did the Mexican tie his wife to the train tracks? To-kill-er"