100081

Joke of the Day

"Who wants to dress up as a battery and make Halloween come early this year? I'll be Halloween."

"""Welcome to lazy club. My name i-*doors get kicked in* ""THIS IS A ROBBERY! NOBODY MOVE!"" [voice from the back] ""Nobody was going to."""

"The other day I walked up to a homeless person. 'Knock knock' 'Who's there' 'I thought you were homeless!'"

"Why does it smell bad when you destroy fans? Because you're breaking wind."

"So I met a vegan. I'd finish the joke, but she's still talking."

"My doc said that I should stop smoking and drinking immediately. What does he care what I'm doing in the waiting room?"

"Why shouldn't you sleep with a weatherman? They'll promise 12 to 14 inches, but you'll only get 3 to 5."

"Why did Al Gore get a nipple ring? Cuz he heard Bush got a Dick Cheney."

"As a child my girlfriend loved train sets Most of my adult friends thinks its weird she still plays with them. I think it's perfectly normal for a 6 year old."

"Turns out that when asked which was my favourite of all the X-Men that ""Caitlyn Jenner"" was not a valid answer."