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Joke of the Day
"Why did the Mexican push his wife off the cliff? Tequila"
Next Joke
"*googles murder tips *adds ""asking for a friend"" at the end of each search They won't be able to prove a thing! *evil cackles"
"My niece just said ""Birds live in a birdhouse & we live in a people house!"" Cute, huh? Wrong; my niece is 26 & on trial for manslaughter."
"I could've built a school in Africa with the amount of time I've spent uncapitalizing letters in texts to seem cool."
"I have a dog to make sure that the noises in the middle of the night are nothing serious and I have a cat to make those noises."
"I got mugged yesterday... The mugger said, ""Give me your money or you're science."" I said, ""Don't you mean history?"" He said, ""Don't try and change the subject."""
"I swear if one more person RT's poetry into my TL I will draw a bath, light some candles, and just get lost in the verse's haunting imagery."
"What do you call a race ran by female horses? A mare-a-thon."
"I once ate an entire pack of rope I shit you knot."
"What do you call an expensive circumcision? A bloody rip-off"