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Joke of the Day

"A man goes to a halloween party wearing nothing but his pants The host asks, "" Hey, what the fuck are you supposed to be?"" The man replies, ""I am a premature ejaculation"""

"A very large woman was walking her dog... and as she walked by I said ""nice pig,"" she looked at me with a puzzled face and said ""that's no pig, it's my dog."" I replied with ""I was talking to the dog."""

"Judge:""Since we can't prove who's baby it is we will ... cut the baby in half Worm Mom 1:""Sure Worm Mom 2 :""Ya do it."

"Sex is so much more with a big penis . . . With a small penis, you're barely scratching the cervix."

"Parole officer: Come in and take a seat [me, finishing a jail term for stealing chairs] *starts sweating*"

"You might be a redneck If you think ""Pearl Jam"" is an oriental sex act"

"Finding Nemo 3: Nemo's mom isn't dead. Nemo's dad kidnapped Nemo to avoid a custody dispute. Nemo's mom finds them. It's a revenge tale."

"Commas are the coolest punctuation, because they're like ""Yeah, you haven't got time to stop, but you can chill for a little bit."""

"What do snowmen eat for lunch ? Icebergers !"

"Freddie Mercury: ""Hey Brian, what rhymes with scaramouche?"" Brian May: um... Fandango? Freddie: ""Perfect!"" *snorts another line of coke*"