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Joke of the Day
"how wide is the universe? how long is a piece of string theory"
Next Joke
"""I feel so average"" Tom said meanly"
"David Cameron's legacy David Cameron will go down in history as the man who fucked up his campaign, fucked up his job, and fucked up a dead pig."
"THEM: Hey, I haven't seen you for a while. ME: As planned."
"Funny how we say ""I drank a *pot* of coffee"" instead of ""I drank fourteen cups of coffee and chased the cat around the hot tub with a sword"""
"I want my headstone to read ""loving wife, evil dictator""."
"Why did the Tour de France get raided? The police heard it was full of pedal-philes."
"Why should you always invite Amish people to a party? They know how to raise the roof."
"A sandwich is better than sex. Because nothing is better than sex and a sandwich is better than nothing."
"I love my 6-pack so much I protect it with a layer of fat."