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Joke of the Day

"music joke As the Cellist in our string quartet, i can't help but feel the other musicians are looking down on me. sorry about that, i will just be getting my coat."

"What's the most important part of a vegetable's golf stats? The handicap."

"Last week I walked up to Wayne Rooney at the airport and said,""How about an autograph mate?"" ""Sure."" He replied. So I signed a photo print of myself and gave it to him."

"What do you get when you teach Android grammar? A droid"

"How do you know when you've played too much minecraft? When your friend wishes aloud that he could be creative and you tell him ,""your game mode has been changed."""

"Did you hear about the dentist who planted a garden?... A month later he was picking his teeth"

"take our dunkin donuts survey and be entered to win $50000! question 1: how sure can you *really* be that they are your real parents?"

"One lady to another, Do you talk to your husband during sex ? Yes, if he calls on my cell."

"If I were a cop and pulled a woman over for speeding I would keep crying until she let me give her a ticket."

"Why did Wolverine stop checking his e-mail? He kept forgetting his Logan and password."