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Joke of the Day

"What do you call it when you flip a quarter and it lands on its edge. *coin*cidence"

"You see me wildly flailing my arms. Did I: a) Walk through a spider web? b) Try to wrap something in Saran wrap? c) Try to use Scotch tape?"

"I tried to eat a clock once... But it was very time consuming"

"I went to the doctor and he gave me 2 months to live, so I shot him. The judge gave me 30 years."

"i've been doing home repairs. since i started using black caulk, i haven't gone back."

"So a baby is named by his French, Chinese, and Redditor grandparents A. L'Mao"

"What is the similarity between a psychologist and a prostitute? They both take your money for stuff a good friend would do for free, however they are better at it."

"If you eat guns, you'll sweat bullets. It's science."

"Before you send that mass ""Merry Christmas!"" text don't."

"Healthy cereal feels a lot like dressy sweatpants."