212701

Joke of the Day

"The total age of the women I've slept with this year is 132, which would be so much more impressive if it was more than two women."

"I like my coffee like I make my women. Hot, and bitter."

"What do you call a necrophiliacs erection? Mourning wood."

"(Flash of brilliance while out shopping) My friend asked me what my favorite store to shop at was. I couldn't decide, so I said I love ""them all"""

"I am so drunk, i'm going to regreddit tomorrow! regReddit GET IT? wow, this is as dry as california."

"We're having a traditional Thanksgiving this year. We're going to invite the neighbors to dinner, murder them, and take their land."

"Went out to play Pokemon Go, found the meaning of life. It's Golbat."

"lobsters would be proud of themselves if they knew how expensive they were"

"I should buy a 26.2 sticker! for my nose..."

"We have one of the recalled Samsung washers. But, don't feel sorry for us... We're going to have a blast!"