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Joke of the Day

"Donald Trump on not repeating himself at last nights debate: ""I do not repeat myself! I do not repeat myself!"" Funny, cause its true."

"Why is Monday so far from Friday, but Friday so close to Monday?"

"Why is it best to wear leather when sneaking around? It's made of hide"

"My neighbour has had a record 44 concussions. He lives very close to me. A stone's throw away in fact -StewartFrancis"

"Whoever says Paper beats Rock is an idiot. Next time I see someone say that I will throw a rock at them while they hold up a sheet of paper"

"A dog walks into a bar and says to the bartender ""A pint of beer please."" The bartender says ""Wow that's amazing! You should join the circus!"" The dog then replies ""Why? Do they need electricians?"""

"What happens when Captain America drinks water? He becomes hydrated."

"""Polar bears can't jump"" -- black bears"

"What is the difference between the USA and USB? One connects to all your devices & accesses your data, and the other is a hardware standard."

"I got like 30 followers off a tweet about free porn sites, to which I say free credit report lose weight free penis enlargement."