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Joke of the Day

"Donald Trump on not repeating himself at last nights debate: ""I do not repeat myself! I do not repeat myself!"" Funny, cause its true."

"Why don't you ever see three mexicans crossing the border at the same time? Because the signs say ""No trespassing"""

"What's the difference between you and a calendar? A calendar has dates..."

"I remember that one time, before Twitter, when I went outside and did shit."

"2 prostitutes are standing on a corner One looks to the other and says ""you ever been picked up by the fuzz"" The other says ""No, but I have been swung around by the tits"""

"What is the quickest way to get Trump out of The White House?? Put Monica Lewinsky in there. She's not the hero we deserve, but she'd be da real MVP we need right now."

"What's small, orange and sounds like a parrot? An oompa loompa with a sore throat."

"I can sympathize with batteries. I never get included in anything either."

"I've been reading the dictionary. Spoiler alert: ""zyzzyva""!!"

"How much is 5Q and 5Q? 10Q. ""You're welcome. """