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Joke of the Day
"Stop pissing me off or I'll marry you"
Next Joke
"Before you reply angrily at a tweet, just ask yourself if you'd yell at a retarded kid for screaming irrelevant shit into a megaphone."
"No matter where you live, there's always 1 light switch that doesn't do anything."
"[cash4gold] Man in a coat: [holding gold bar] ""How much is this worth?"" ""It's 25 carats..."" [8 rabbits rustle excitedly beneath trench-coat]"
"I'm sorry you're just not NASA material ""Why?"" Well, you wrote 'red' then crossed it out & put 'human' under blood type on your application."
"Most offensive joke I've ever heard So I was going down on this old lady when I tasted horse semen. So I stopped and said ""Oh grandma, that's how you died"""
"Evening News is where they begin with 'Good Evening' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't."
"Why does Bernie Sanders write in lowercase letters? Because he hates capitalism."
"It creeps me out when my dog watches my wife and I have sex. We hide the videotapes, but he always finds them."
"I bought a pair of shoes from my drug dealer I don't know what he laced them with but I've been tripping all day"