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Joke of the Day

"Car trouble, miss? Allow me to squint, and posture heroically while staring at your labyrinthine engine as panic cascades through my spine."

"What does Eric Clapton and a cup of coffee have in common? They both suck without Cream."

"A guy walks into a burn ward... and he says ""hey, you with the face!"""

"What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangeroo ? A stripey jumper !"

"A: Knock knock... B: Who's there? A: Gas station security, you tore down a poster in a bathroom, give us the money in your wallets or we'll shoot you"

"I told my mom that the CIA was going to keep Osama Bin Laden's porn collection away from the public. She said, ""Who cares? It's probably just full of camels, anyway."""

"did you get the job? ""i don't know yet"" when will they tell you? interviewer: ""keith can you please ask your mum to wait in reception"""

"Let me tell you know what I know about dawrves... very little"

"How can you make seven even? Take away the letter S."

"Wife: Well, they say a mirror adds ten pounds. Me: That's a cam- Wife: ... Me: Yes. Yes they do."