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Joke of the Day

"Why buy an invisible knife? I don't see the point"

"Why do gay men have good fashion sense? Because of all the time they spent in the closet"

"I wrote a poem: Dinosaurs, they used to roar, but... No more. Still mad atchu, meteor."

"What's 12 inches long and stiff in the morning? Cot death."

"Probably the worst & the best thing about having King Kong go crazy in your town would be the huge, monster genitalia."

"*police sirens* *Dad bursts into my room wearing a panda suit* QUICK HIDE THESE NO TIME TO EXPLAIN *throws a litter of panda cubs at me*"

"This isn't rain, it's God slaughtering a giant cloud."

"Why couldn't the American fly home from Russia after the Olympics? Because he was Snow'den."

"What's so good about an Ethiopian blow-job? You know she'll swallow."

"I got my foot in the door, my head in the game, and my ass in gear. I'm one motivational tape away from a hospital admission."