99347

Joke of the Day

"Our generation is messed up. We have unprotected sex, but have cases on our phones."

"What did the dog say after a hard day at work ? ""Today sure was ruff"" Read that today on my university's art wall and made me smile a bit , thought i'd share it :P"

"My Muslim girlfriend wants to blow me Should I be excited or call the cops?"

"""Push harder"" I shouted at my wife while she was in labor... ""Screw you"" she screamed back at me. Bit harsh I thought...... it wasn't my fault the car broke down on the way to the hospital!"

"Why did Hitler kill himself? He got his gas bill."

"What's the difference between ignorance and indifference? I don't know and I don't care"

"First Witch: I like your toad. He always has such a nice expression on his face. Second Witch: It's because he's a hoptimist."

"What do you get when you stab a baby with a knife? An erection and a place to put it."

"I recently started remodeling my house and quickly got in over my head, so I decided to get some professional help. I also hired a contractor to work on my house."

"Intelligence always beats good looks. But just to be safe I've got both covered."