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Joke of the Day

"The barber asks Bernie Sanders ""what are you looking to get done today?"" ""Oh, just fuck up the top 1%."" ""Say no more..."""

"What do you do after you licked the softest and sweetest puss in the world? You put it back in the crib."

"The other day I was laying down a carpet... ...and my friend Speedy Gonzales was helping me. At one point I said, ""Have I missed anything, Speedy?"" And Speedy says, ""Underlay, underlay!"""

"6 to his brother: Hey man, all I want is some oatmeal and a nap. It's a joy raising an 80 year old man."

"[NSFW] Why is it so hard for a prostitute to pee in the morning? You ever tried pulling apart a grilled cheese sandwich?"

"If you are looking for a way to describe olive oil, how about ""yellow and you can't drink it"""

"What do you say when comforting a grammar nazi? There...their...they're.."

"Wanna hear a good joke? You."

"I'm a screamer Not sexually just life in general"

"Calculus Joke http://i.imgur.com/4s8NLUO.jpg Not mine, but thought I'd share anyway. Hope you like it!"