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Joke of the Day

"Sue: I'm off to the hairdressers, what sort of cut would make me look beautiful? *giggles* Stan: A power cut."

"Why do Russian police officers always work in groups of three? One of them can read, and one of them can write. The third one is there to keep an eye on the two intellectuals."

"So, a bird flies in front of a pitcher and gets hit by a baseball. What do the umpires rule it? Fowl ball"

"Pack of polos for sale still in the wrapper Mint condition Pack of polos for sale, still in the wrapper. Mint condition"

"Why can't you trick unemployed jesters? Because they're nobody's fool"

"I told myself that I wouldn't drink today, but nobody ever listens to me."

"What do you call a Muslim who is notoriously late for everything? 9/12"

"My dad doesn't see why he should pay a mechanic to rotate his tires. He says they're rotating the entire time he's driving!"

"What's the difference between a diaper and a politician? When a diaper is full of shit, it gets discarded. When a politician is full of shit, it runs for president."

"I once dated a Welsh girl with 36 DDs. Longest surname I've ever seen."