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Joke of the Day

"What did the monster say to the Thanksgiving turkey? ""Pleased to eat you!"""

"What's green and smells like bacon? Kermit the frog's finger"

"ME: So are you gonna put it in me or what NURSE: Sir it's a blood draw please stop saying that"

"Why did Martin Luther King have so many pink shirts? He was against separating the whites from the coloreds."

"I'm at my most Disney Princess when I fight with my stepfamily before drunkenly losing my shoe at a party."

"Mattel has a campaign urging girls to pursue their limitless potential. It's called You Can Be Anything Except A Woman With Barbie's Body."

"The best part about this status update is that by the time you've finished reading it you realize that there is absolutely no point to it"

"Why did sally fall of the swing? she had no arms"

"What did Shang Tsung say after conquering South Korea? ""Your Seoul is mine!"""

"""Can I help you find something?"" I'm looking for the perfect diamond for my wife that says ""sorry I cheated on you in your dream last nite"""