992

Joke of the Day

"Instead of sending friends Christmas cards, is it ok If I return the ones I got and just add the words ""Me too""?"

"I put my pants on just like everyone else: reluctantly."

"""Ugh I sent so many drunk carrier pigeons last night"" -medieval millennials"

"Why won't the US change over to the Metric system? Because we'd rather die on our feet than live on your 30.48 centimeters."

"What was the Mathematician's Favorite Johnny Depp Movie? 's of the Carribean."

"David Bowie was found in a three foot coffin. The coroner said it was a space oddity."

"What's black and white and red all over? A bleeding nun."

"You know what the last thing I said last year was? One!"

"So there's this humor contest... and a guy enters ten puns hoping to win with at least one. Unfortunately no pun in ten did."

"Two fish are in a tank One says to the other i'll man the guns you drive"