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Joke of the Day

"What was the Mathematician's Favorite Johnny Depp Movie? 's of the Carribean."

"Why do we have to listen to a 45 second instructional to leave someone a voice mail? Beep, talk. We get it, condescending cell companies."

"Why is it never hot in churches? Because it's prayer conditioned. I'll leave now...."

"Why does Donald Trump take women out on his yacht? Because of the implication."

"Late 9/11 joke. My dad died during 9/11. He was driving a plane."

"I became a bisexual when I got married. I get sex twice a year whether I want it or not."

"[snapchat HQ] Boss: anybody got anything good? Guy (who smoked weed instead of working): people with big eyes puking rainbows?"

"What's six inches long and two inches wide and drives women wild? Money."

"crime tip: secretley grease a cop's butt befor a car chase so when he slides acros the hood he'll slip off & keep on slidimg down the street"

"What's the difference between Asians and Caucasians? Asians don't have the ""cauc""."