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Joke of the Day

"Other girls think they are quirky because they pet dogs at parties. I on the other hand, fear death but also long for it"

"Never get a circumcision from an unqualified professional It's a rip off"

"When you're fast enough to be at two spots at the same time. *Fat"

"Q: What do you say to the banjo player in the three piece suit? A: Will the defendant please rise."

"What do you get when you drop a piano down a mineshaft? A-flat minor."

"I would not recommend eating at the new Star Wars themed restaurant... The burgers are chewy"

"Marriage - Some days are just tough I look forward to those"

"I dare you to read the New Testament, except substitute every ""Jesus"" with ""Pizza Hut"" and tell me it isn't the greatest business plan ever."

"I just found out that the only thing you need to apply for a marriage license is your ID and an idiot."

"I'd expect Captain America to be fatter."