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Joke of the Day

"Step on a crack, break your momma's back! So then I went on a walk with my family. I stepped on a crack, looked at my mom, and said ""Why didn't your back break, mom?"" ""You're adopted."""

"So an orca's prey tried to escape But his fate was sealed"

"Was kicked out of Walmart today. When I walked in I saw a ""Wet Floor"" sign. So I did."

"In calculus class we just finished revolutions of solids It made my head spin."

"The police didn't believe me when I told them I found a flying carpet... They called the whole thing fabricated."

"I found this place online that sells authentic moon rocks. The rocks themselves are really cheap, but the shipping is a bitch."

"Look at all of these beautiful horse ""Horses"" Horse is already plural ""You're thinking of elk"" *stares off* Holy mooses, you're right"

"Why did the male spider spin a web? So he could catch all the fly ladies."

"""Hi. I'm an insane maniac."" - People who write more than three sentences to describe an Instagram photo"

"Fear Factor would have been much scarier if it had just been people in their twenties trying to figure out how to have careers"