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Joke of the Day

"Why are mimes such good rapists? The D is silent. <i just thought of this! be gentle with me>"

"A few years back dos Equis asked me to be the spokesperson for their beer. I told them I wasn't interested."

"Your eyes are like stars. Not because they are bright and beautiful. But because they are so far apart."

"My wallet is like an onion. When I open it, it makes me cry."

"If you can recite the alphabet backwards to a police officer they will arrest you for fingering a minor."

"Yes I will purchase the anti-ageing cream that costs 100's of dollars because the results on those 20 year old models is just miraculous."

"Hey smoke detectors, feel free to use that last bit of battery life to continue monitoring fires instead of getting all beepy."

"What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day? Forget-me-nuts. "

"a mushroom walks into a bar And the bartender says ""we don't serve your kind here"". The mushroom replies ""what I'm a fungi""."

"I tried to write a song about a fajita.... But it turned into a wrap."