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Joke of the Day
"What do Italians do when they're waiting for somthing? They pasta time."
Next Joke
"What do you call a Nun that bites her nails? A bad Habit. I'll see myself out."
"Punctuation can really change a sentence. For example, ""Let's eat kids"" becomes ""Let's eat punctuation"""
"How can my wife's hands not open a jar of pickles in the day, but become superhuman vice-grips at night when I want some covers?"
"When I'm down, I read shelving assembly instructions. Shelf help books make me feel better."
"Threw my new neighbors a house-warming party... The police called it arson. Whatever..."
"It's true. Parents that use drugs, have kids that use drugs. So, there's an important lesson here... Don't have kids."
"Bring a Knife on a date? When I see lovers' names carved in a tree, I don't think it's sweet. I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date."
"What is a YouTube Heroes favorite comment? [removed]"
"[1st day in hell] Devil: Your damnation will be that you are a shoe model for all eternity. Me: That's it? D: *hands me orange Crocs*"