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Joke of the Day

"I can't take the time to exercise but I did some killer cardio pacing indecisively in front of the Ben & Jerry's section of the supermarket."

"What do you get if you breed a hedgehog and a grass snake? *Interbreed. A meter of barbed wire. It's funnier in Russian"

"What's the worst part about being black? Even the name has 'lack' in it"

"does anyone know what to do if you carve a pumpkin that is too scary. i cant go in my kitchen"

"Logic What happens when u ask a fake logic fan... What is your favorite logic album? Their response Flexicution"

"Do you remember those old romantic movies where the guy would lay his coat down in a puddle for the woman? WALK AROUND THE FUCKING PUDDLE."

"Sometimes when my family is especially ungrateful, I don't wash the vegetables when I make their salads."

"Physical Doctor gave me a physical and says I have to stop master bating. I ask why? He says ""because I'm giving you a physical"""

"I asked my North Korean friend how are things over there. He said he can't complain."

"The problem with feminists... The problem with feminists is that they don't stop talking and I just want to fuck them."