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Joke of the Day

"I used to work in a shoe-recycling shop. It was sole-destroying. - Alex Horne"

"Me: ""Dude, I brought another dress for you to clean."" Dry cleaner: *takes off headphone* ""Sorry, come again?"" Me: ""No, mustard."""

"is the ultimate american drug watching an entire season of a tv show at once or getting married so you don't have to die alone?"

"The other day, my friend told me I didn't know what ""irony"" meant... Which was ironic, because I didn't."

"HELLO POLICE, MY SON JUST TAUGHT CUT TO A LEGENDARY POKEMON I WANT HIM TRIED AS AN ADULT"

"Guys socialize by making fun of each other, but they don't mean it. Girls socialize by giving compliments to each other but they don't meant it either."

"Who drives away all his customers ? A taxi driver."

"A blonde said to her friend while driving ""I got a compliment on my driving today,"" said a blonde to her friend. There was a note left on my windshield it said ""parking fine""."

"Dad Dinosaur: Look son a shooting star make a wish! Angsty Teen Dinosaur: I wish it would hit us and kill us all."

"If you fall outta your car in your driveway, it's your own asphalt."