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Joke of the Day

"Good Cop: If you tell us where the money is we can help you. Bag Cop: *majestically floats around the interrogation room on AC currents*"

"My butt was set on fire while I was out with my girlfriend It was really ember-ass-ing."

"Where do Martians drink beer ? At a mars bar !"

"I was gonna open a clothing store for midgets... ... but the market was too small."

"Why are there fences around graveyards/cemeteries? Because people are dying to get in!"

"A man goes to a store, walks up front and greets the girl behind the counter: ""Hey, baby, do you believe in love at first sight?"" ""No"" ""Then I'll come back tomorrow"""

"David Cameron joke! They say David Cameron is a one term Prime Minister. That term is of course 'cunt'."

"What's the difference between USB and USA? One connects to all your devices and access your data, one connects to all your devices and access your data."

"If pirates say ""Arr"", What do software pirates say? .RAR"

"I told a waitress she was much prettier without glasses so she set down her tray of drinks."