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Joke of the Day

"David Cameron joke! They say David Cameron is a one term Prime Minister. That term is of course 'cunt'."

"""We're going to chop off your testicles so we can love you until we decide you need to die."" --pet owners"

"[table of 6 year olds in lab coats] How are we supposed to find a cure for cooties if we *bangs fist on table* CAN'T EVEN FIND WALDO?!"

"New evidence has been found outside the Pistorius home that completely acquits him of his girlfriend's murder. Footprints"

"Why was Jeffrey Dahmer so healthy? Because he ate five fruits a day!"

"Two guys meet at a bar. ""My wife ran off with my best friend Peter..."" ""Oh no, when did this happen?"" ""Yesterday."" ""And since when is Peter your best friend?"" ""Yesterday!"""

"How do you help someone with ADD or ADHD? Send them to a concentration camp!"

"What's the difference between a little guy with a pot o' gold and a big gathering where people's limbs are falling off? One's a leprechaun and the other's a leper-con."

"Why does Cuba not have any casinos? They Havana no money to spend."

"Harambe memes have lost their popularity since the election... People's attention moved away from the death of a gorilla to the election of an orangutan!"