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Joke of the Day

"What did one butt cheek say to the other butt cheek? If we stick together we can stop this crap!"

"Why did Kennedy throw his head back? He was taking a shot."

"I'm as conflicted as a strip club addict with a glitter allergy."

"ME: Hey you haven't talked to me lately, are you mad at me FRIEND: No things are just really awful ME: Oh thank god FRIEND: What"

"Just found out bears don't hug to be friendly, but because they want to eat you :("

"What do you call a deaf chick in bed? Anything you want"

"My wedding vows said ""till death do us part."" My wife died, so I was a free man. Then she came back and bit me."

"What do you call a singing laptop? Adele"

"I can't believe AntMan and Spider-Man are in civil war. That really bugs me."

"I was on TV last night When I'm drunk, I sleep anywhere."