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Joke of the Day

"How do you start a rave in Ethiopia? You nail a piece of toast to the ceiling."

"How do you know it's time to do the dishes? Look in your pants, if you see a penis, it's not time yet."

"Daughter: why does that guy with the whistle keep interrupting the football game? Me: because mommy isn't there to do it."

"Fine! I do actually believe in a higher being.. His name is Jonathan and he's about 5 inches higher than me. That bastard."

"Women: Think of every guy you have ever been friends with. He has jerked off to you. Good talk."

"Imagine if the Indians gave the pilgrims a donkey... Then we'd all get a little ass for thanksgiving."

"Guy: Police, yeah there's this black kid harassing a homeless person. Police: You had me at black"

"Why dosn't Jesus christ play hockey? Because he'd always get nailed into the boards"

"Candy is like virginity It's easy to take from a child"

"A terrorist walks into a Akbar"