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Joke of the Day

"How do you know it's time to do the dishes? Look in your pants, if you see a penis, it's not time yet."

"Who do mice worship? Cheesus. :)"

"My Echo ''You're beautiful and I love you,"" I yelled as I stood alone on the cliff, and my echo replied ""I just want to be friends."""

"The Washington Redskins are very sensitive to concerns and have decided to change their name... ...to the DC Darkies."

"Whats green, three inches long and smells like bacon? Kermit the frogs middle finger."

"Why is it so wet in Great Britain? Because of all the kings and queens that reigned (rained) there."

"Russian women must be horny... Even their president's name is PUT IN."

"Why don't blind people go bungee jumping? Cause it scares the fuck out of the dogs."

"I met an urban dwarf who keeps perfect time. He's a metronome."

"[cats at shelter] Where's Frank? ""Got adopted 3 weeks ago. Gone soft too. Healthcare plan. Hypoallergenic blanket. Goes by Mr. Boots now."""