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Joke of the Day
"I kill people for a living with my jokes! HAHAHAHAHHAHA FUCK YOU"
Next Joke
"Knock, knock..."
"I try not to tweet about things I'm doing incase it gets taken out of context, but this cock is delicious!"
"I just got these awesome red shoes but there is an issue with them. They have no soles"
"why did Microsoft skip 9? because 7 , 8 , 9 !"
"There are 364 days until Christmas and people already have their Christmas lights up. Unbelievable"
"So I knew this lady, and even though she was a Prostitute..... She had the Prettiest face I ever came across."
"""That's a wrap, everybody."" ~movie director identifying delicious food"
"How do you summon a wizard taxi? CABRACADABRA!"
"My dog is coming home from surgery today and I hope he did ok. He can't afford another malpractice suit."