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Joke of the Day

"I was going to make a joke about that bus that rolled over and killed the driver and 9 passengers... But there's no pun in ten dead."

"Does anyone know where Engagement, Ohio is? About halfway between Dayton and Marion"

"I had to remove the battery from my carbon monoxide detector The constant beeping was giving me a headache and making me feel sick"

"I tripped over my girlfriends bra.... I guess she planted a boobie trap."

"""You're more likely to be killed in a car wreck than eaten by a shark."" The shark made a convincing argument, so I got out of the cage."

"Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because it had no Guts."

"I accidentally knocked over my daughters giant Lego building she made. It's ok though, I blamed it on radical Muslims like a good American."

"This year, measuring your accomplishments against Lindsay Lohan's will ensure you feel like a winner merely for avoiding the penal system."

"Waxing. It's not a cure for lycanthropy."

"Twitter makes me want to have drinks with people I've never met, and Facebook makes me want to throw drinks at people I already know."