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Joke of the Day

"A father walks in on his son... A father walks in on his son masturbating. The father says, ""Son, If you keep masturbating you'll go blind!"" The son replies, ""Dad, I'm over here."""

"When my friends told me to stop pretending to be a flamingo... I had to put my foot down."

"You know, I really liked the rule of Nero. Rome was pretty lit at the time."

"Probably drank too much coffee this morning. Probably drank too much. Probably too much coffee. Drank too much. Coffee. Probably."

"Why do you ask me to press 1 for english when you know damn well you're going to transfer me to someone who doesn't speak english?"

"My friend has recently started collecting acting equipment. Props to him."

"I'm a shy person with low self-esteem, but I'll tell you a great joke ..if you promise not to laugh."

"How does the moon cut his hair? 'Eclipse it."

"I took my family out to an authentic Chinese restaurant. My wife and I had chow mein and my daughter built 3 iPhones"

"How many tickles does it take to tickle an octopus? Ten-tickles! Courtesy of Ben Morehead of the Goulet Pen team."