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Joke of the Day

"My boyfriend said it would be nice if once in a while he woke up to breakfast in bed... I put his bed in the kitchen..."

"What is the difference between an ornithologist and a stutterer? One is a bird watcher, and the other is a word botcher."

"Why was the binary number so happy? Because of two's compliment!"

"Did you know that according to FDA regulations a goblin can be labeled as a hobgoblin even if it contains only 3% hob"

"Hey Pringles, it's time to widen the can. Your core demographic isn't exactly thin-wristed."

"Movies led me to believe there would be a whole lot more unlocked cars just sitting around with the keys tucked away in the overhead visor."

"""Expires 4/2013""??? What a boring-ass Snapple Fact"

"What do you guys think of polar bears? I think they all white."

"For my next party trick I'll swallow two pieces of string and an hour later they'll come out of my ass tied together.... I shit you knot"

"She once called me bae so I had to baeurry her in my backyard.."