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Joke of the Day

"Doctor Doctor I've got bad teeth foul breath and smelly feet. Sounds like you've got Foot and Mouth disease!"

"I gave all my dead batteries away today .. .. free of charge !"

"In many U.S. States offenders receive a harsher penalty for hitting a dog than they do for hitting a woman. That's outrageous either way you're slapping a bitch"

"Moe: My wife converted me to religion. Joe: Really? Moe: Yes. Until I married her I didn't believe in hell."

"What did the father buffalo say to his son going off to college? Bison."

"What's the difference between a smoker and a crossfitter? Most smokers know and acknowledge the fact that they're slowly killing themsleves."

"""Sorry, that was my bad."" ""Your bad what?"" ""No. I'm just sayin': Sorry. My bad."" ""You're bad at completing an apologetic sentence?"" ""Yeah"""

"I'm pretty sure if Flo from Progressive and Jake from State Farm hooked up, the universe would explode."

"Why can't Jesus eat pizza? Because he doesn't exist."

"I used to be addicted to frozen sandwiches But I decided to go cold turkey."