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Joke of the Day

"Somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a note on my windscreen which said, 'Parking Fine.' That was nice..."

"Where do you drown a hipster? In the mainstream"

"Bing is a fast search engine because you're the only person using it."

"It's OK to pet him. Buffalo are gentle creatures."

"So here I am in this internet cafe... ...with the biggest fucking nigger I've ever seen reading every word I ty"

"Sometimes I think I want to have a baby but then I wake up the next morning still holding my beer and I think maybe not"

"What did the Mexican kid get for his birthday? My bike :("

"You can't get good signal reception at a cemetery It's a dead spot."

"Less than 1 month without a pope.... .....and we've already cured HIV."

"Mexican Magician The Mexican Magician says ""I will disappear at the count of three. Uno, dos..."" *POOF* And just like that, he disappeared without a tres."