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Joke of the Day

"What do you get when you cross an insomniac, dyslexic, and agnostic? Someone who stays up wondering if there is a dog."

"I thought I saw Jesus in a cookie. But I was wrong. It was just a guy who looked like him."

"What sound does a shotgun make? Cobain Cobain"

"Winds of 108mph, structural damage, flying debris, massive depression, icy blasts, communication difficulties, untold misery and suffering... Yes, I forgot our anniversary again."

"You know what jokes are the worst? Lesbian jokes. Those are for pussies."

"[at a wedding] *bridesmaids walk to stage* 5 year old: Does he get to pick?"

"Time waits for no man, time is obviously a woman."

"If USB ports could talk, they'd only ask one question. Is it in yet?"

"What nationality is Santa Claus? North Polish."

"Why did the lesbian cross the street? She was emo."