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Joke of the Day

"I have no super powers. I'm guessing I'm the villain."

"What do you call a Mexican with a vasectomy? A dry Martinez."

"What is 50 Cent's guiding philosophy? Be the change you want to see in the world."

"Jesus: Go forth. You are now fishers of men. Peter: *harpoons a guy* Jesus: Too literal, bro."

"What kind of eggs do Canadians prefer? Grade eh?"

"When you send food back to the kitchen, you're basically saying, ""Can you have the chef rub his genitals on this please."""

"How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? You wave hello!"

"Subway sandwich artists seem like they'd rather kill their mother with an AIDS hammer than give you extra toppings."

"Julian Assange became a role model for hackers worldwide by crashing at a friend's place indefinitely & never paying his share of any bills."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Aida ! Aida who ? Aida more than I drink !"