96844

Joke of the Day

"No, Karen .... Gold, Frankincense and Myrrh is NOT a Jewish law firm."

"Why did the chicken cross the stage? To get to the other aside!"

"How do you know that the drum riser is level? The drummer dribbles out of both corners of his mouth"

"Guys, I love this subreddit, but we shouldn't joke about people dying... It's a very grave subject."

"Benedict Arnold's boy pointed out the front window ...and pointed at a maple. ""Look daddy, a bush,"" he said excitedly. ""That's not a bush,"" Benedict replied, ""that's a tree son."""

"A conversation with my 7 year old brother. ""Look at all of these beautiful horse"" ""Horses"" ""Horse is already plural, isn't it?"" ""You're thinking of elk"" ""Holy mooses, you're right"""

"People are always impressed to find out that I got my PhD at 17 but anything is possible if you work hard enough and lie."

"Yo mama so poor she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning."

"""Can we talk tomorrow?"" is my way of saying ""I'll try to do a better job of avoiding you tomorrow?"""

"My niece just said ""Birds live in a birdhouse & we live in a people house!"" Cute, huh? Wrong; my niece is 26 & on trial for manslaughter."