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Joke of the Day

"My Dad use to tell me this one after he went through a divorce with my mom: ""Do you know how I like my coffee? I like my women like I like my coffee..."" Ground up and in a bag!!"

"What do you call a green polo shirt? Collared greens"

"I had a delicacy last night, young Wookie steak... ...it was a little Chewie."

"""Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup?!?"" ""Same thing that bag is doing in your tea."""

"M: What do you want for dinner? H: I don't care, you decide M: Sushi? H: No, but whatever. M: Mexican? H: Nah, but your call. He's dead now"

"Mike Pence getting booed at Hamilton is the worst thing to ever happen to a politician at a play"

"If I check out your blog, what will you do for me? Love me? Ok fine, but you're telling my mom we're going out."

"How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram."

"Always heard this on the playground growing up... Pete and Repeat were in a boat, but Pete fell out. Who was left?..."

"I set up a trap to catch the tooth fairy but she caught on and placed my parents in the trap instead. what a tricky fairy. PS. i want my $1!"