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Joke of the Day

"""I'm tired of you pushing me around and talking behind my back."" ----people in wheelchairs probably"

"Reception Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The Ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent."

"I once applied for a job to work as a blacksmith.... The blacksmith asked me if I'd ever shooed a horse. I said ""no, but I once told a donkey to piss off."""

"What does it sound like when a pterodactyl uses the bathroom? Nothing, the pee is silent"

"What's the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my dick in your ass"

"I just heard an old man tell this joke on live radio... - Knock, Knock - Who's there? - Little Boy Blew - Little Boy Blue, who? - Jared, from Subway, that's who"

"What's the hardest part about breaking up with a Japanese girlfriend? Having to drop the bomb twice before she gets it."

"Terrorists now have a brand new state of the art weapon that can be hidden in plain sight The Galaxy Note 7"

"House is a mess ... Walked in the other day and there were 2 people on the couch blindfolded and filming a Fabreeze commercial"

"What do you call Italian marijuana? A pizza joint"