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Joke of the Day

"Just saw a poor girl crying in the library, devastated about something. So I pulled up a chair, leaned in and said ""You can shut up or go outside, I've got an exam tomorrow""."

"If there's one thing I'm better at than everyone else... It's humility."

"Why was Noah such a compelling character? He had a good ark."

"Knock knock Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? To get to the other side!"

"People are like books. You can't judge them by the outside and it's not cool to burn a big pile of them."

"My friend got a job as a metronome. I said, is that a regular thing?"

"What are Donald Trumps least favorite food? Mexican jumping beans"

"What I've learned from twitter is that if I tell a joke to 1,300 people, at least 2 will laugh."

"The truth You'll never see a church with free wifi. I guess it's because they don't want to compete with an invisible power that actually works"

"i just crashed my car in a lane between two houses, owned by mr and mrs ball, and one owned by mr and mrs smith thank god i was dragged out by the smiths"