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Joke of the Day

"the cvs cashier asked me how im doing as i put some diarrhea medicine on the counter. ""not great man ive got diarrhea"" i told him"

Next Joke
 
"The last time I was this drunk and covered in glitter, it had nothing to do with Christmas."
"It's cute how alcohol comes in a paper bag so when you hit rock bottom you have something to hyperventilate into."
"No YouP0rn... I do not want to play poker, I'm at work for crying out loud."
"Why was the Facebook post redundant? Because I already reddit"
"Tiger Woods is the most overrated athlete in the history. In almost all matches he was sub-par."
"[filling out job application] Race: Barbarian"
"I rarely eat kale chips, but when I do-I eat them condescendingly and self-righteously."
"""Sorry I haven't been tweeting much lately."" guy who actually thinks people notice when he's not tweeting"
"Guy 1: ""Fuckin A, man"" Guy 2: ""Fuck a B, it has more holes."""