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Joke of the Day

"What does Stephen Hawking say when his computer crashes? Nothing."

"Half of my Facebook friends are still there solely because their life is a train wreck and it's entertaining."

"Why did the terrorist go to Sonic? To have a Blast!"

"I like my girls like I like my drinks... Virgins"

"TIL if Steve Irwin had worn sunscreen that fateful day, he would have survived. Apparently it protects against harmful rays."

"How come you never see black people on ships? They aint falling for that shit again."

"What did one depressed saggy boob say to the other? We better get some support before people think we're nuts!"

"You should never live in the past. Unless you're a time traveler. Cause dinosaurs rule."

"What do race car drivers wear under their fire retardant suits? Speedos !"

"""Hello! You have a nice dog. Opiates are bad. Beautiful day today. My parents talk to pixies. Bye!"" - Polite home-schooled kid I met today."