96385

Joke of the Day

"angel of God: mary u shall give birth to the son of God himself & he shall be named Jesus & shall die on a cross mary: i have a boyfriend"

"""Mom, I'm here to make your boobs big."" - smiling 3 yr old comes out of garage with a bike pump."

"If a dog ran away every three nights and had an orange tail, what would that make it? I think it would still be a dog..."

"I locked my keys in my car outside an abortion clinic They get really angry if you go in and ask for a coat hanger"

"The first woman on the Moon... ""Houston, we have a problem."" ""What?"" ""Never mind."" ""What's the problem?"" ""Nothing."" ""Please tell us?"" ""You know what the problem is."""

"What do you call a fruit that isn't allowed to marry? A cantelope"

"I changed my name in my daughters phone to God...just texted her and said ""I saw that"" You should of seen her face. Priceless"

"If a tree falls in the woods and there is no one to hear it, he still tries to play it off like he meant it so the other trees don't laugh."

"Give a man a fish: you just killed a fish. Teach a man to fish: you just killed like a thousand fish"

"Why did God make women last? He didn't want someone telling him what to do"