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Joke of the Day

"My bucket list. 1. Buy bucket."

"What did the black dude say when his hippie girlfriend asked him to go to burning man with her? Namaste here"

"Santa Claus uses foreign elves to make his toys. It's time to bring those jobs back to America. Huge tariffs coming to the North Pole!"

"'I'm not going to school today' Alexander said to his mother. 'The teachers bully me and the boys in my class don't like me.' 'Why ?' 'Firstly you're 35 years old. Secondly you're the principal.'"

"Over Christmas, my Mexican friend told me why they have the tradition of making tamales instead of other traditional foods. It's so they have something to unwrap."

"How can you tell a golf course is owned by Donald Trump? The rough is combed over the fairway"

"Why didn't the melons get married? Because they cantaloupe!"

"What purrs along the road and leaves holes in the lawn? A Moles Royce."

"I met a girl in the pub last night and we ended up back at my place. I didn't have a f*cking clue what I was getting myself into. So I politely asked her to shave it."

"It takes a real man to be a juggler You've got to have balls to do it"