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Joke of the Day

"Santa Claus uses foreign elves to make his toys. It's time to bring those jobs back to America. Huge tariffs coming to the North Pole!"

"What is the hottest part of a man's face? His sideburns."

"When idiots talk to me, I just imagine they're saying, 'I'm an idiot,' over and over. Makes it easier to nod in agreement and not get cross."

"It was nice of Apple to invent a mirror I can send emails with."

"A blonde is taking money out of an ATM, when the blonde behind her in line says, ""Ha! Ha! I know your password. It's four asterisks."" The first blonde replies, ""Ha! Ha! No it's not. It's 3862."""

"Do people ever come up and sing your own songs to you? Dave Grohl: Literally all the time Me: What if I say I'm not like the others?"

"I don't have bumper stickers because I don't believe in anything strongly enough to potentially get my car keyed."

"What's a down-side of being a paedophile? You have to go to bed early."

"Why do the sharks only swim in salt water? ......because they would sneeze in pepper water."

"What's the bro-iest airport in the US? LAX"