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Joke of the Day

"/r/jokes/ wins Friend of the Planet award! for 95.001% recycled content."

"Did you hear about the guy that ran the erectile dysfunction support group? He had to disband the group because he couldn't raise enough members."

"They changed something in the matrix... and now all the eigenvalues are wrong."

"How do you know if you sisters on her period? Your dad's dick tastes like blood."

"Two parrots were sitting on a perch. One said to the other, ""It smells fishy around here."""

"I told my boss I couldn't come into work because my anal glaucoma was acting up. I just couldn't see my ass there."

"That's offensive -- Pikachu is his slave name."

"WHAT'S BETTER THAN A ROADMAN!!!!!!??? A ROADMAP!!!"

"Did you hear the one about the man who ate his baby's feet? He also found out his wife was pregnant."

"ababbaaaabbabbbbabababababbbaaabababbabaaaba ....long time no C"