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Joke of the Day

"Tesla, Oscar Wilde, and Sherlock Holmes walk into a bar. The punchline of this joke was patented and then hidden by Thomas Edison."

"Rock stars are always hitting the people they date.... Because they want everything to be a smashing success. After I wrote this, I'm reevaluating my life."

"2016 strikes again. The inventor of the inappropriate innuendo has died. His family are taking it really hard."

"How do you make anti-freeze? Take away her blanket."

"What does a black guy wearing a fedora say to greet people? Sup m'niggas"

"Wife: ""Bad day?"" Me: ""Stupidhead boss treats me like a kid."" Wife: ""Now now *pats head* eat your nuggets before they get cold."""

"What's the difference between Chuck Schumer and Tom Brady Tom Brady is a Patriot and a winner. (Thank you Dennis Miller)"

"ladies and gentlemen this is your captain speaking please keep your seatbelt on as we--OH MY GOD [plane flies into a giant baby mouth]"

"A majority of my fortune will be spent accurately recreating the obstacle courses of Nickelodeon shows from my childhood."

"[Fixed] They say when you shave it, it grows back thicker. That explains what happened to those pounds my wife ""shaved off."""