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Joke of the Day

"My girl friend wanted a nose job... So I tried. But her nostrils weren't big enough."

"Salad is the decaf of food."

"Sometimes I wonder if I'm a hoarder and then I think,""No. But I should probably keep these used band-aids just in case."""

"What do you call four drowning Mexicans? Cuatro cinco"

"The secret to enjoying good wine: Open to let it breathe. If it appears not to be breathing, apply mouth to mouth."

"You have the nicest syntax I've ever seen."

"What did the drunk say when his boss enquired about his availability? Yeah, I'm av**ale**able."

"Q: Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman than a regular one? A: You have to hollow out the head."

"A Jewish Coffee brand named... Hebrews It"

"I want to be part of the 27 club I'm just DYING to get in."